


Midnight Hypotheticals

by FrenchKey



Series: Witchertober 2020 [3]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Definitely hypothetical conversations, Idiots in Love, M/M, Midnight Conversations, Monsters, Podfic Available, jaskier being jaskier, no one dies, references to hypothetical murder, this fic contains 0 percent murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27069682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchKey/pseuds/FrenchKey
Summary: Jaskier can't sleep. He decides to make that Geralt's problem.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Witchertober 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972876
Comments: 12
Kudos: 108





	Midnight Hypotheticals

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Witchertober Day 3 prompt - Bruxa. It's based on a conversation I had with my significant other recently (in which I was Jaskier and he was my long-suffering Geralt). The ending is down to Jay, as usual. (Thank you. It's 10x better than it would have been without you). Hope you enjoy!

The moonlight streamed in the window, lighting the room in shades of silvery white. The village was the type of silent that only occurred in the wee small hours of the morning. Jaskier breathed deeply next to him, not yet asleep, but as silent as he ever got. Geralt relaxed into his threadbare pillow and breathed out. Tendrils of sleep licked at the edges of his consciousness and a low purr rumbled in his chest.

‘If I was a bruxa, would you kill me?’

Jaskier’s voice broke the peace and sent Geralt’s sleepy doze fleeing for the hills. He groaned and tried to sink back into the relaxation he’d found. A finger poked him in the ribs.

‘But, would you, Geralt? It’s very important that we know these things about each other. If you got accidentally monsterified, I wouldn’t kill you. Of course, I probably wouldn’t be able to, but I wouldn’t want to either! I just…’

Jaskier cut off as Geralt rolled over and gently laid a hand over his mouth.

‘If I answer your question, will you go to sleep?’ he asked.

Jaskier wrinkled his nose in a way that suggested he’d try, but there was no guarantee about how successful he’d be. Clearly this was going to be one of those nights.

‘If you were a bruxa, then, yes, I probably would kill you,’ he said.

Jaskier’s squawk of outrage was barely muffled by the hand Geralt had left in place, anticipating that reaction.

‘If you wanted me to say no, you should have picked a different monster,’ he said, placid, ‘Bruxae don’t have any control over their powers and they’re not much more intelligent than horses. You can’t reason with them. I wouldn’t let you kill me, just to avoid killing you.’

Jaskier licked his hand. Geralt, having grown up with Lambert, raised an eyebrow and didn’t move. Jaskier bit him.

‘Ow, you fucker,’ Geralt hissed, releasing Jaskier’s mouth. He had surprisingly sharp teeth for a human.

‘Rude! You’d kill your oldest friend. Your best friend! For nothing other than the crime of being a monster,’ he wailed, pressing the back of a hand to his forehead and faux swooning.

‘I said I’d kill you if you were a bruxa, not if you were any monster. If you were a higher vampire, for example, I’d only kill you if you’d developed a taste for human flesh and couldn’t be reasoned with. Same way most places would hang a human murderer. Not much difference, really.’

‘Hmmph, well. If all I need to do to not be brutally cut down by my own lover is not kill people, then I suppose I can refrain.’

‘You regularly get the urge to kill people and feast on their blood then?’ Geralt asked grinning.

‘Not so often these days,’ Jaskier said, smiling and running his tongue along one pointed tooth.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos make the world go round! Please drop one if you liked it!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Midnight Hypotheticals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617420) by [FrenchKey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchKey/pseuds/FrenchKey)




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